Learn the differences between てほしい and てもらいたい for making requests in Japanese. Understand nuances and politeness levels.
•8 min read
Reviewed by GyanMirai Editorial Team•Last reviewed 2025-02-10
Advertisement
Support free Japanese study resources
Advertisement area
Grammar Comparison JLPT N4 JLPT N4
てほしいvsてもらいたい
てほしい vs てもらいたい: Japanese Request Expressions Guide
Master てほしい and てもらいたい in Japanese. Learn when to use each for expressing 'want someone to do' with clear examples and practice exercises.
Read time: 7 min readSearches: 1,500+ monthlyUpdated: February 17, 2026
Understanding the difference between てほしい (te hoshii) andてもらいたい (te moraitai) is one of the most important distinctions in Japanese grammar. This comprehensive guide will help you master when and how to use each one correctly.
Grammar Point A
てほしい (te hoshii)
Want (someone) to do
Expresses the speaker's desire for someone else to do something. Direct expression of want. Can sound demanding depending on context.
Formation: Person に + Verb て-form + ほしい
Grammar Point B
てもらいたい (te moraitai)
Want to have (someone) do / Would like (someone) to do
Expresses wanting to receive the action from someone. More indirect and polite than てほしい. Emphasizes receiving the benefit.
Formation: Person に + Verb て-form + もらいたい
Quick Comparison Table
Aspect
てほしい
てもらいたい
Meaning
Want (someone) to do
Want to have (someone) do / Would like (someone) to do
Usage
Expresses the speaker's desire for someone else to do something. Direct expression of want. Can sound demanding depending on context.
Expresses wanting to receive the action from someone. More indirect and polite than てほしい. Emphasizes receiving the benefit.
Formation
Person に + Verb て-form + ほしい
Person に + Verb て-form + もらいたい
JLPT Level
N4
N4
Directness
Direct
Indirect
Nuance
I want you to do
I'd like to have you do
Receiving focus
No
Yes (from もらう)
Emotional weight
Strong personal desire
More transactional
Business use
Less suitable
More suitable
Humble form
N/A
ていただきたい
JLPT Level
N4
N4
Key Differences
1
Directness: てほしい is more direct: 'I want you to do X'. てもらいたい is more indirect: 'I would like to have you do X for me'. てもらいたい sounds softer and more polite.
2
Receiving Nuance: てもらいたい comes from もらう (to receive) — it implies receiving the favor of an action. てほしい simply expresses desire without the receiving nuance.
3
Politeness Level: てほしい can sound demanding or childish in formal situations. てもらいたい is more appropriate for business or formal requests.
4
Formality Upgrade: てほしいです is polite but still direct. ていただきたい (humble of てもらいたい) is very formal and polite for business situations.
5
Emotional Weight: てほしい often carries stronger personal desire or emotional weight. てもらいたい is more transactional and professional.
When to Use Which?
Follow this decision guide to choose the right grammar point.
Yes
Yes
Use てほしい
No
Use てもらいたい
No
Yes
Use てもらいたい
No
Use てほしい
Examples with Explanations
てほしい
あなたに来てほしい。
Anata ni kite hoshii.
I want you to come.
Tip: Direct expression of wanting someone to come. Personal and emotional.
Context: Intimate conversation or personal request
てもらいたい
この書類を確認してもらいたいんですが。
Kono shorui wo kakunin shite moraitai n desu ga.
I would like you to check this document.
Tip: Polite business request. てもらいたい softens the request.
Context: Office request to a colleague
てほしい
静かにしてほしい。
Shizuka ni shite hoshii.
I want you to be quiet.
Tip: Direct demand. Can sound strong or even annoyed depending on tone.
Context: Expressing frustration or giving a direct instruction
てもらいたい
説明してもらいたいことがあります。
Setsumei shite moraitai koto ga arimasu.
There's something I'd like you to explain.
Tip: Polite way to request an explanation. Professional tone.
Context: Business or formal setting
てほしい
早く帰ってきてほしいな。
Hayaku kaette kite hoshii na.
I wish you'd come home early.
Tip: Expressing personal emotional desire. The な adds a wishful nuance.
Context: Family member or partner expressing longing
ていただきたい
ご検討いただきたいと思います。
Go-kentou itadakitai to omoimasu.
I would like you to consider it.
Tip: Very formal business Japanese. ていただきたい is the humble form of てもらいたい.
Context: Formal business proposal
てほしい
分かってほしい。
Wakatte hoshii.
I want you to understand.
Tip: Emotional plea for understanding. Personal and heartfelt.
Context: Emotional conversation seeking empathy
てもらいたい
手伝ってもらいたいんだけど。
Tetsudatte moraitai n dakedo.
I'd like you to help me, but...
Tip: Casual but polite request for help. The んだけど softens it further.
Context: Asking a friend for help
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Mistake #1Using てほしい in formal business situations
Correction: Use てもらいたい or ていただきたい in business
てほしい can sound too direct or demanding in formal contexts.
Wrong: 社長に来てほしいです。 -- I want the president to come (too direct)
Correct: 社長にお越しいただきたいのですが。 -- I would like the president to come (appropriate)
Mistake #2Using 私に for てほしい
Correction: The speaker is not marked with に in てほしい
てほしい marks who should do the action, not who wants it. The speaker's desire is implicit.
Wrong: 私に静かにしてほしい -- I want me to be quiet (wrong structure)
Correct: （あなたに）静かにしてほしい -- I want (you) to be quiet
Mistake #3Using てほしい for your own actions
Correction: Use たい for your own desires
てほしい is for wanting OTHERS to act. For yourself, use たい.
Wrong: 私は日本に行ってほしい -- I want me to go to Japan (structure error)
Correct: 私は日本に行きたい -- I want to go to Japan
Mistake #4Forgetting に for the person
Correction: Mark the person who should act with に
The person you want to do the action is marked with に.
Wrong: 彼、来てほしい -- Him, I want to come (missing particle)
Correct: 彼に来てほしい -- I want him to come
Memory Tips
Tip 1
Direct vs Receiving
ほしい = I want (direct demand). もらいたい = I want to receive (indirect, grateful tone).
Example: 来てほしい (I want you to come!) vs 来てもらいたい (I'd like to have you come)
Use てほしい for emotional/personal requests. Use てもらいたい for professional/formal requests.
Example: 分かってほしい (emotional) vs 確認してもらいたい (professional)
Practice Exercises
Test your understanding with these practice questions. Click on your answer to see if you are correct.
0 / 6 answered
Q1
上司に報告書を確認し___んですが。（丁寧に）
I would like you to check the report. (to boss, politely)
Q2
早く帰ってき___な。待ってるから。
I wish you'd come home early. I'll be waiting.
Q3
お客様にご理解___と思います。
I would like customers to understand.
Q4
彼女に本当のことを言っ___。
I want her to tell the truth.
Q5
この件について説明し___ことがあります。
There's something I'd like you to explain about this matter.
Q6
みんなに分かっ___。難しい状況なんだ。
I want everyone to understand. It's a difficult situation.
Frequently Asked Questions
ていただきたい is the humble form of てもらいたい. Use it in formal business situations, with customers, or when speaking to superiors. It's very polite and professional: ご確認いただきたいのですが... (I would like you to check...).
It's possible but risky. てほしい can sound demanding to Japanese ears in formal situations. In business, てもらいたい or ていただきたい are safer. However, among close colleagues, casual てほしいんだけど might be okay.
てほしくない (don't want someone to do) and てもらいたくない (wouldn't like to have someone do). For 'want someone NOT to do', use: ないでほしい or ないでもらいたい.
Add んだけど or んだが at the end: 手伝ってほしいんだけど (I want you to help, but...). This softens it. Also, てくれない？ is a casual alternative: 手伝ってくれない？(Won't you help me?)
てくれ is a direct command/request (do it for me). てほしい expresses desire (I want you to). てくれ is more action-focused and masculine. Example: 待ってくれ！(Wait! [command]) vs 待ってほしい (I want you to wait).
Summary
Use てほしい when...
Expresses the speaker's desire for someone else to do something. Direct expression of want. Can sound demanding depending on context.
Use てもらいたい when...
Expresses wanting to receive the action from someone. More indirect and polite than てほしい. Emphasizes receiving the benefit.
Pro Tip: The best way to master the difference is through reading and listening practice. Pay attention to how native speakers use these grammar points in context.
